From the archives: Why your kids are fat and sickly

The Nonsense Crowd has blamed GMOs for all modern illnesses and allergies despite any evidence to the contrary. Back in 2009 I wrote this when I was writing for the NY Examiner.  This was before GMO was on my radar. This was when I was really cranky.


Hey, it was International Walk to School Day this week!  It’s an international event. NY1 was on the scene in Riverdale, interviewing parents and kids to get their opinions of this radical new idea.

One grinning parent loved this novel idea and said that it was a much better idea than driving his kid four blocks to school.

I have another radical new idea. How about if they encourage their kids go outside and play after school? Oh, but wait, they might get hurt or dirty. Good. Getting dirty and hurt is healthy so they don’t grow up to be lard-assed, sickly whiners who suffer anaphylactic shock when they even look at a picture of a peanut.

I know, it’s a crazy idea. The better solution is to ban bake sales, institute a tax on soda and stuff our kids into hazmat suits whenever they go outside.

The over protection of children has become an epidemic. Why, when I was a kid, we played barefoot on concrete playgrounds embedded with shards of glass. If we fell off the jungle gym and got hurt our parents would taunt us while treating our wounds with muddy, salt water and poke us with sticks until we stopped crying. Then, and only then, were we allowed to walk barefoot uphill six miles to school in six feet of snow, backwards.

Allergies seem to be rampant among kids today. Parents’ obsession on cleanliness and anti-bacterial this and antibacterial that, is harming kids. Back in the dark ages, you never heard of kids having peanut allergies. Now it seems that every other kid has them and all kinds of other immune deficiencies as well.

Scientists have come up with an idea of why this is happening. It’s called the Hygiene Hypothesis. Simply stated, our kids are too clean. Kids need to get dirty. They need to strengthen their immune systems.

Studies have found that kids who grew up on farms have significantly lower rates of allergies and asthma. However, Dr. Scott T. Weiss professor at Harvard Medical School and ivy league spoilsport says “Eating dirt or moving to a farm are at best theoretical rather than practical clinical recommendations for the prevention of asthma.”

We are raising a generation of kids who will grow up to be soft, weak and sickly. The worst case scenario is that it will be a generation of kids who have to live in bubbles, like John Travolta.

1 thought on “From the archives: Why your kids are fat and sickly”

  1. Hey you–I’ve got a peanut allergy. And I got it in the 1970s!1!!

    But we never talked about it endlessly in public like people do today. I really never wanted anyone to know about the hives and the…um…rest of it. We never thought it was anyone else’s problem if I couldn’t have a cookie at school.

    I’m actually quite eager to get the GMO peanut the removes the allergens. I miss Reese’s peanut butter cups.

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